you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
