Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I just want nice things and good sex
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
