ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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