If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
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