I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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