Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
