Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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