I bet he comes in French.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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