I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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