so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize