Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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