I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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