I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
