hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Randomize
