go do what you do best...puke behind churches
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Randomize
