There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
