Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
