R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
