Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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