shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Will exercising make me less horny?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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