he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Just pee around me
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
