i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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