I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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