yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
