I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
There was a lot of him and a little penis
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
