If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
