Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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