the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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