Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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