I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
