She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
There r osticjed everywhere
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Randomize
