So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
