I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
