Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
