At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
