You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
