How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
