Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
