Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
