The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
