I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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