At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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