Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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