WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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