can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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