that's an acceptable place to lick
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
