he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
