it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
