We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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