I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
