cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
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