I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
