You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
