I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
