we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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