GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
We need to get me chipped asap
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
