false alarm. still invincible.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
