I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize