Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Woke up backwards on a recliner
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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