If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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