when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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