How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize