ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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