You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
