smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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