Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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